To invite reports from readers, I would like to contribute my own experience here.
I and my partner talk about sex in detail.
According to what she has told me, there are three levels of orgasm (although it is a very rough classification).
fainting (and other)
(* "Other" means such thing as having an Out-Of-Body-Experience during sex and seeing bluish light around the body of couple.)
In our case, we experiment with our creativity to attain always the level No.3, "fainting".
I am 39 years old and she is 30 years old.
We have sex once or twice a month.
Because of our housing condition, we use motel every time.
* translator's note: As the sound proofing of rooms in Japan is generally poor and people care more about their privacy now a days, many couples who doesn't own a house or well built condominium use hotel specially built for love making. These hotels are called "motel" or "love hotel".
For a short stay, in about four hours, she comes four to five times and I come twice simultaneously in her.
When staying overnight, she comes five to six times in the evening and twice in the morning next day, making total of seven times or so.
But I come only about three times, less than half of her, since it would be too demanding physically if I ejaculate on every one of her orgasm.
Also, as a general principle, I never come before her first orgasm.
For the contraception, we use natural post-ovulation method applying Billings Ovulation Method.
* Please see Link page for detail.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Now, within five to six orgasms she attains, usually at least one "fainting" orgasm happens.
And there are some clearly different things compared to "light" or "deep" orgasm.
In ordinary orgasm, the arousal drops more or less sharply for men,
and somewhat gently for women to calm her breathing pattern.
But in case of "fainting" orgasm, the arousal curve is different.
Right before the orgasm, the arousal reaches its peak, and sustains that level without least diminution for around two minutes as if it were "continuous orgasm", always with her spasm coming.
Then, suddenly she faint away as if sleeping.
After that, her breathing is very light, seemingly nearly stopped.
The facial expression is extremely calm, or rather so tranquil "as if dead".
Her consciousness comes back after this sleep like state of several minutes.
In some cases, she will enter profound sleep if I pull off quietly and leave my body apart from her.
However, to make this state happen, I give more than twenty minutes of meticulous foreplay, more than ten minutes of cunnilingus, and then twenty to thirty minutes of penetration.
Since required time depends on physical condition and individual, it could be longer or shorter.
Further, in our case,
when she faint away, I also faint lightly, too.
It happened with other woman that I kept my consciousness while she fainted, but not with my current partner.
Also, "fainting state" happens only when we have a simultaneous orgasm.
It seems that when the orgasm of both partners happen simultaneously, the wave height is certainly amplified more compared to a separate single orgasm, as in the case of mixing two waves.
Also it is rare to see this "fainting" at her "first orgasm of the day". It happens often at the third orgasm or later.
Therefore, I do not ejaculate for first two orgasm of her so that I can ejaculate at her third orgasm or later.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Some related matters around orgasm
If we bring our attention to the physical condition, these deep orgasms seem to happen more often during the daytime when our body is in its active phase than during the night when our body tries to start resting. Maybe there is a similar reason behind the strong passion, known for the centuries, of daytime adulteries. "Making love under the sun" may give more pleasure because of our physical condition. However, there is no problem during the night if you sleep enough during the day.
As for the lighting, incandescent lights are better than fluorescent light. Furthermore, the best we have found was the candle light. The candle light of the diffuser for aromatherapy or scented candles can be good, as well.
It is better to avoid taking too much sugar within three to four hours before sex for both men and women. Also, full stomach is not good, either. So, start sex when minimum of four hours or so have past after the meal. And we do not take any alcohol or drugs and pills before sex since these substances completely impair normal functioning of tactile sensation and orgasm if they are taken before.
Although it is not necessary for women who can be satisfied with once or twice of orgasm, I recommend the use of lubricant jelly for women who need many successive orgasms, to avoid the pain from long sex. It is too bad if you have to stop sex because of the pain even if your sexual desires are not totally consumed. However, since there is a individual differences in the resistance of vaginal mucus, a lubricant is not necessary if you are a tough woman who has no pain at all after ten times of penetration at fifteen minutes average each.
Although I have said that we use post-ovulation method for the contraception, as far as the pleasure of women is concerned, their sexual energy and desires are higher around the ovulation. This is probably natural for the purpose of procreation. Because of this, sometime we use other contraceptive methods and make love on the days other than non-conceptive period (especially around ovulation) for heightened sensations.
In this case, although using condom and coming in her mouth by fellatio are done, I do not ejaculate out of her body since I think it is a totally wasteful act, physically, and overall for the sense of mental union.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
To learn the basic, use riding position or woman on top
If there is a problem like she can't have an orgasm or you can't have a simultaneous orgasm, to practice, the riding position and woman on top are suitable.
I think that he can learn her preferences in the pattern of penetration and movements at first with the woman on top position to enjoy normal frontal position and other positions later with the skill.
Since she can freely control and adjust the way she gets stimulation for her maximum pleasure in the riding position and woman on top, he can attentively observe and learn what kind of "rhythm", "penetration angle", and "the depth of penetration" she loves without loosing his control in the heat of excitement as he is lying on his back.
And near her orgasm, as she will always bring her body down to hold tight on his body, he should not make careless pelvic thrust but stay still, just keeping his pelvis pushed forward.
If he makes bad movements at the most crucial moment, it happens often that she misses her orgasm because the timing of the stimulation becomes "out of synchronization" just when she is coming to her climax.
However, when the "interval of orgasmic spasm" is gradually getting longer after her peak and fifteen to twenty times of initial spasms, her orgasm will be prolonged even more by the stimulation if he pushes his pelvis gently or make circular movements.
Also, to attain her orgasm, it will be deeper with the stronger sensation of contact at the genitals if she stretches out both her legs with her ankle unbent a little apart within her shoulder width, between his legs
Since this is from our personal experiences, please try other positions in illustration of Total Tantra manual if it does not suit you.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Also to learn manual stimulation for her body, it is better to ask her that she puts her hand over his to stimulate herself as if masturbating, rather than trying with the guess of his own or with the experiences learned from other women.
You may realize, in doing so, that sometime he has been totally missing her erogenous zones.
It is same for the cunnilingus using his tongue and lips that it is important to learn meticulously the best "spot", "strength", and "speed" of stimulation, one by one, carefully asking her confirmations.
By the way, my partner has told me that the sensation of vibration feels good when I "howl at low tone" during cunnilingus.
It is our next subject of experimentation to find out which tone gives best pleasure.
Really, sexual preferences (especially for women's body) varies from one person to another.
Orgasm brought the end to the sexual fantasy
It is said, in general, that men are made to get excited even by the sexual information from their visual input.
On the other hand, women seem to be sexually aroused by the vocal vibration of men and their scent.
There is one thing that has changed dramatically as I practiced the sexual teaching learned from master EO by direct vocal transmission.
Soon after repeating the simultaneous orgasm with my partner for several times, I suddenly realized that I couldn't have sexual fantasies.
I think most men have more or less similar experiences such as, thinking about sex when there isn't actual partner around, thinking about having sex with a woman whom you see on the street, in photo, or in the video, getting aroused and erection from these, and masturbating.
Naturally, I also had sexual arousal seeing things before.
But this disappeared completely after having simultaneous "fainting" orgasm with my partner.
In other words, I have lost the capability of "mental fancies particular to humans" to be sexually aroused by thoughts or mental associations.
Therefore, in other than actual situation of sex, I do not have sexual desires nor erection from sexual fantasies.
First, although I thought that sexual desires and energy have gone down, it isn't the matter of sexual function since everything is as before once in a real sex.
It is my assumption that sexual fantasy of human not related to the present real life situation, and getting aroused by the sexual impressions from photo or images are limited to "when there is frustration about sexual union".
Although I do not totally understand, as EO had said often, vain wasteful desires may disappear with total satisfaction.
And even though you may think that it will "become a habit" or we can "get addicted" if we repeat these sex with satisfaction, I truly feel that "wasteful desires", "desires more than necessary" decrease on the contrary, since "an addiction" happens only when there remains "frustration".
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
There is one last thing I would like to mention.
There is a limit in the orgasm using physical technique only.
To realize deep sense of union in orgasm in every sense, physical simulation of body goes so far and "mental aspect" starts to play more role.
Among the techniques I was taught by master EO, there isn't just simple physical union of man and woman but meditation technique such as circulating aura or etheric energy in partner's body and resonating booth partner's energy in spiritual center are included.
(The basic techniques of these are explained in "Mysticism of Sex".)
Also, there is a preparatory technique for both partners to practice same meditation starting many days before sex, and all these has been indispensable factor to achieve really deep orgasm.
Death Zen meditation method developed by master EO was also employed as the behind the scene support of the spiritual aspect. (This method of mediation is explained in detail in his books, especially all the process of practice, in "Taoism of the darkness".)
However, there were many techniques, which I was taught by master EO, that seemed to be too complicated to be used by ordinary readers, and they are too specific or too maniac to treat here.
People may ask such question as "why do we have to submit ourselves to the food restriction and special breathing exercises for many days just for sex?" and oppose to these things.
Therefore, only some part of these techniques are included here at this moment.
That is all I have to say from my personal experience, and as my opinion.
Simultaneous orgasms are not difficult
I would like to add some points I have forgot to mention in the previous note.
It is not that a woman must absolutely "faint" with her orgasm.
Please do not misunderstand as, "it is not an orgasm if both man and woman faint simultaneously".
Rather, these things may happen if the condition of both partners are good and in great harmony. Usually, the second level of "deep" orgasm, as I have mentioned in the previous note, is enough.
And if you stress yourselves by thinking that we must come simultaneously, it will be more difficult after all.
* * * * * * * * *
As the steps toward simultaneous orgasm are not that difficult, and feasible for almost anyone, don't make it a big deal.
There are just several things to take care.
@@ @ @ * * * @ @ @
However, as it is in any practice of any kind such as sports or studies, it is impossible to satisfy all the requirements totally from the beginning.
And if you get nervous a lot by thinking, "I must do it in so and so way", it will give opposite result rather than benefits.
For men, too much stress might result in premature ejaculation or sexual dysfunction.
On contrary, a man without will power is a big problem.
Even how much detailed technical explanation were given like this, it is totally useless if usual sex were repeated without practicing anything you have predetermined.
But, maybe there are some people, for whom there seems to be too many things to do, who can't figure out from which position, movement, and breathing exercise they should start.
If you are like that, please try following points.
@@ @ @ Step One @ @ @
1: This is the lesson for her to learn her own sexual sensations.
Until she finds out a pleasurable position and angle of penetration, try a variety of body positions. And he should cooperate with her requests with gentle loving manner.
It does not need to be a normal frontal position at this point since it is still a kind of foreplay.
Please refer to the list of positions in Total Tantra Manual for choosing one, reading explanations about them.
2: If she finds the position, she should move as it pleases her and heighten the arousal by herself.
The most important thing at this step is that "he should never move his pelvis" in any body position. He should let her take the initiative totally, and keep his pelvis always "immobile".
3: Although he should not move his body, he should not forget to caress her body and kiss her time to time.
He should be careful to receive her circular movements and pelvic thrusts firmly without pulling off his pelvis.
(* For advanced people, there is a technique to tease and give more arousal for her by pulling off his pelvis when she pushes her to make deep penetration.)
@@ @ @ Step Two @ @ @
4: When her arousal is high enough with the Step One (1,2,3), she should change into the body position with her legs stretched apart within shoulder width.
At this time, he does not have to stretch his legs and he can stay as he wants.
Nevertheless, help her till the end so that "she can come by herself".
If she has difficulty in coming at this moment, she should contract her muscles of "PC-muscle, anus, hips, and inner thigh" when she thrust her pelvis.
More than anything, "she comes at first" is the objective with the highest priority.
5: He should never ejaculate at this first orgasm of her. Such thing as "simultaneous orgasm" is for later on.
< < < * * * > > >
There is a big challenge for men in this Step One and Two, that is "not to ejaculate" even if she comes.
He should train himself for not coming with the strong stimulation from her movements, that may be alternatively hard or slow.
Unless he is a really slow coming man, he should control.
But the word "control" is not appropriate here.
Because he may come with the added mental pressure if he think about controlling.
For example, when she tells him that she will come soon, he may think like "now I have to control" and that may bring more sensation with the mental pressure, resulting in ejaculation.
Therefore, not the "control", but with a small trick, he will stay "naturally without ejaculation".
"Control" is done when the arousal is near its limit. Rather, "the acceleration for the arousal" should be kept down.
* * * * * * * * *
For that, it is very effective for him to "relax his body and mind, especially his mind, and keep his body calmly immobile".
> > > * * * < < <
Even how well he maintain his calm relaxed state, there is a possibility that he get excited by the arousing movements of her.
If it happens, he can try "to taste the feeling of penetration with relaxed PC-muscle". He can understand this by experimenting in his masturbation that it will be easier to feel more and come quicker if he contracts his PC-muscle often.
On contrary, if the PC-muscle is relaxed, although the erection and the sensation is there, it will be longer to come.
It is important for men to keep in his mind that he will make his body and mind relaxed to "taste" the sensations of penetration leisurely rather than thrusting toward ejaculation.
In other words, it is to savor all your sexual sensations observantly, without being washed away by the excitement, as if you are watching the sensation of someone else.
And this should be maintained till she comes.
However, the PC-muscle have to be contracted time to time to keep the erection hard enough rather than relaxed from the beginning till the end.
The knack here is to "breath out deeply, slowly" during the seven seconds when you contract the PC-muscle. Man's endurance will be significantly longer just with the exercise of deep slow breathing out.
While you do all this, her orgasm will be there within ten minutes for quicker woman, or within thirty minutes even how slow she may.
Some other points to ponder
Please make sure to use this method of relaxed PC-muscle for men only in the case of safe period or with the use of contraception. Because there is a possibility of pregnancy, even without ejaculation, by the small amount of seminal fluid that may leak out with this method, in which man stays relatively long period of time with his PC-muscle relaxed.
* * * * * * * * *
If he cannot hold his ejaculation with this method, please read well the section: "Ejaculatory control for men" and "Misc.", in "Total Tantra Manual", and practice to master these.
< < < * * * > > >
When she comes, he should keep the penetration for at least three minutes.
After more than three minutes have passed, ask her "shall we continue? or shall we take a brake?". And do as she wants.
* * * * * * * * *
> > > * * * < < <
The above is the most "basic" practice.
Once she can come first with these, he can come also at the second or third orgasm of her when it seem that the timing for him is naturally good.
And at this time, he can move his pelvis as well as man on top position can be taken. However, as it is written in "Total Tantra Manual", please use slow "circular movements", "side slides", "pressing still in deep penetration", "gentle thrust". It is important to remember that her climax will come sooner by "not changing the steady tempo" of body movements.
* * * * * * * * *
But when he is coming, he should never hurry thinking that "he will unfailingly come simultaneously with her".
When you begin these practice, he can come several seconds or more after her climax without problem. Do not hurry to ejaculate in any case.
Her orgasm is not like that of men. Since her sexual arousal stays even after the end of spasms, he has enough time.
Soon after her orgasm, the pressure deep in her vagina decreases. But in a while, the entrance of vagina may squeeze the penis or it may make spasmodic contractions.
If his penis is still erect and in her vagina at that moment, he can taste these delicate sensations.
+ + + * * * + + +
As you continue to practice, both partners will learn the characteristics of each other's orgasm, and you will come simultaneously in natural, effortless manner.
Report and question from Ms. Kamori
Hi, this is my second report.
(* Translator's note: Her first report is not yet translated at this moment.)
I have tried the "Mysticism of Sex" with my boyfriend.
Since there are some questions, I have sent a mail to Mr. Houzan Suzuki.
With the answers from him, we have practiced at least several times just to get used to the method.
We have done as following.
As it is written in the "Mysticism of Sex", we started from very relaxed energy exchange in penetration, while we stay away from orgasm or ejaculation, for forty minutes, and finished with the energy exchange of the head.
It took more than one hour since we have done all four steps as the direction.
And this was quite recently.
Before to sleep, I wanted to make love in ordinary manner.
So, I asked him and we made love.
Then, somehow, even we didn't intend to come together simultaneously, our timing was synchronized marvelously to goal in together.
He told me that he came three or four seconds later.
But I didn't feel any difference. It was so good.
It was rather better than good.
Although he made very gentle movements as it is written in Total Tantra Manual, the result was unbelievable.
If I use a metaphor, ordinary sex of before was like pop music or dance music without much contrast. But this time, it was with full of the depth and variation as if it were a symphony of a virtuoso played by the orchestra.
We used position [ X ] and [ Z ] for first two orgasm just for me, and [ 7 ] > [ 8 ] > [ 9 ] > [ 10 ] for the third simultaneous one.
And it was after that the problem or something mysterious happened.
Right after the orgasm, although it was a deep one, I didn't faint.
After his ejaculation, we stayed together for about five minutes, feeling the resonating echoes of sensation, and we get separate and he went into a sleep.
Then, mysteriously, I lost all my body sensation after that.
Really, there was any feeling of the body.
Later, I saw the clock when I came back.
And it was at least a half an hour that I didn't have body sensation.
But the most strange thing is that I was not sleeping at all during that time.
I had clear consciousness and I was not seeing any dream, either.
It was really mysterious state.
Though, I didn't see any image, there was no though nearly completely.
It was dead silent in my head (or rather in the consciousness).
I didn't know where I was, either.
I have a memory that I was floating somehow in the endless empty space.
I was not standing nor floating lying, just my consciousness was in that space.
But it wasn't dark.
And I don't think that it was so-called Out-Of-Body-Experience.
Because I didn't have something like seeing my body lying on the bed.
Although it wasn't the vision seen by my eyes, I felt that there were many doors in that space.
And I thought that there was a dreaming world on the other side of these doors.
It was for the first time that I had such an experience after sex.
It was bewildering after waking up.
Was this caused by this method of "Mysticism of Sex"?
Or, was it something particular to me?
Please give me some explanation, Mr. Houzan.
@ Response from Houzan @
At first, I didn't have intention of answering the above since it will go to the direction of spirituality rather than general sexual topic if I started to answer these phenomena.
But I will write frankly as my thought arises.
* * * * * * * * *
I would like to explain Ms. Kamori's back ground to start with.
As far as I have read in her letter, she has been doing meditation for quite long, more than ten years.
I think that this experience happened on that foundation.
However, since she has been having sexual experiences for ten years with the meditation, yet nothing like the experience of this time - "loosing the sense of body without sleeping" happened, I think the main cause was the use of our sexual technique.
* * * * * * * * *
Even though I'm not sure if it will be useful or not, I will write about my experience that seems very similar to her.
It was also after we have done the techniques of Mysticism of Sex for thirty minutes.
As I was checking essential points of the method, we have done for thirty minutes instead of one hour as it is set.
Then, to check other method, we did normal sex, trying several body positions that we wanted to verify on the day.
As for the orgasm, she came twice with the man on top position ([ 10 ] in the illustration) as I lead her, then we came together finally with the woman on top position ( [ Z ] ).
After that, we separated our bodies as Ms. Kamori's case, staying calm for a while, then it was similar to a sleep at the beginning.
But when I became aware, I wasn't asleep and there was a very quiet world.
In my case, I was in the white "mist of light". As it was the case of Ms Kamori, I didn't feel that I was standing on my feet, I didn't feel the shape of my body either. There was just the consciousness.
I didn't feel the existence of any dimensional doors, though, somehow, the thought of - "if I die just like this...." filled in my mind suddenly.
As I have felt the real presence of my own death many times during meditation, there was no fear.
However, I was seriously thinking like this- "if I die now, it will be treated as unusual death, probably, and my partner who is sleeping at my side will have to go through bothersome procedure with police and a like...".
Even I was dead just like that, I didn't have any wondering about dying as I was very happy and felt fulfilled, the fact that she would have some problem bothered me.
* * * * * * * * *
Though I don't know how long I was in such state of consciousness, suddenly, I instinctively felt with the real urgent sensation that "I should return to my body soon".
As soon as I thought so, I had my physical sensation back on the bed.
And right after that, my partner shook my chest strongly.
I asked her what's happening. And she replied that when I was lying at her side, I didn't give any impression of life nor existence, and she was worried if I was really alive, so she shook me to wake up.
* * * * * * * * *
When I verified with her next morning, at that night before, although she returned a few minutes before me, she was also wondering in a very similar space.
It was not sleeping, not dreaming, with clear consciousness, but without anything, any object to see, she felt as if she had come really far far away.
She said that she had a little anxiety of not able to come back.
The common thing among us was, not that we felt we couldn't return, but we had no idea at all about which direction to return.
As we went so far away that we really felt we couldn't find the way to return to our body or this world.
Later, it became clear that at the moment she placed her hand on my chest, I came back from that space.
I don't know what would happened if she had not put hand on me.
Anyway, I had once such a experience.
Well, I don't really think that the consciousness would separate from my body and I would die.
Also, I would like to tell you that it wasn't the same space we were in.
We had very similar experiences in a difference space.
* * * * * * * * *
It was about a little past two o'clock in the morning when we both had returned to our body.
After that, our sense of reality was strange even though we had consciousness in our body.
Until I slept, there was no feeling that I exist in this world, and this state without the sense of reality continued.
And when we woke up nest morning, we are still under the effect of that.
Gradually, by moving our body slowly, taking teas, our consciousness got back the normal sense of reality.
By the way, we both took NO drugs nor alcohol.
We don't drink any alcohol to begin with, anyway.
* * * * * * * * *
I don't know if this story was any way helpful to Ms. Kamori, and it might be just confusing for other readers.
However, it really happened that way, thus I record it as is.
Some people who practice the method of Mysticism of Sex may experience something like this.
I can't really define clearly what it was for both our case and Ms. Kamori's.
I have never hard of Near Death Experience by sex.
Report from Ms. Hana
I have tried the techniques of "Mysticism of Sex", which seemed so interesting, with my boy friend.
And it was so good that I want to write a letter to say thank you.
Up to now, I have never really felt that my body get in my way as this.
Even though the aura of my boy friend and me were both trying to melt and blend, that couldn't happen because of our physical body. Even though our breasts wanted to fuse together, our bodies couldn't melt, it was really frustration yet we could do nothing.
Also, before, we made love in my room. But we use hotel these days.
We both moan and groan when it is good, we have been rather quiet for these.
But now, since we started to do the techniques in Mysticism of Sex, we are shouting and screaming loudly.
If there were a room monitoring system in the hotel, we are so loud that someone who listens would wonder what kind of sex these people are doing.
When we press our heads or breasts, we feel suddenly that something burst out in an explosion in our breast with the sound like "Boom!". In our head, it si as if all brain is fused and melted without a shape. It's far more than our bodies are "coming", but rather "breaking", "maddening".
I thought many times, "why our bodies don't melt away."
Even how hard had we made love before, it never happened like this to be happy with our mind and body as if shapeless.
At first, I thought that you are boosting a little too much about the orgasm of the head or breast.
It was really clear after the experience.
It was as if the best grade orgasm minus physical pleasure, and I felt that it was a extract of pure essence of sexual pleasure.
Now, after tasting this kind of sense of union, I have lost all the interest in love comics and videos.
Although this may sound a little arrogant, compared to the sense of union and fusion of this kind, all sexual accounts we can read in the magazines and comic seem to be a level of childish masturbation.
And, to conclude my report, I want you to read this without laughing at us.
As we were shouting at loudest level when our bodies nearly melted yet never really melting, we are holding each other with our cloths still on.
Of course, we made love, naked, later. And I quickly came to my climax within three minutes of penetration.
I have never come in such a short time before with any of my ex-boy friends.
I came twice on him, and then twice more together under him, after all that night.
We can't make love in ordinary way any more.
We never thought that the method is o powerful.
We would like to say our dearest thanks to Mr. Houzan Suzuki who brought this teaching to us.
Reply from Houzan 1998 5/18
Thank you for your report.
I think, so far, you earned 100 % score at the basic level.
Because the fact that you have felt the annoyance of physical body shows the acquisition of authentic feeling that essence of ourselves is in the body other than the physical one.
Also, more than anything else, the shouting of both is the prove of excellence.
In ordinary sex, even how strong the physical stimulation may be, we morn as kind of variation in the cry of a pain. Also, the moaning sound we make are, "Ooh...ooh", "Ahaaa", "Hhiiiii", "Hhaaa...haaa", "Ohwooo". But in the case of the method like Mysticism of Sex, they are "Kyaaa", "Ghyaa", or "OooWaaa", "OooWohoon". It is not moaning but shouting.
The reason why it becomes like this is because our human emotion itself is exploding instead of the localized sexual sensation. In ordinary sex, although in you head may be white and blank, it is limited to the orgasm with a lot of physical stimulation. However, with the method of Mysticism of Sex, just by the head fusion, just by a few minutes of union at center of the breast, soon the peak is attained.
Well, now, please try similar thing by holding partner's hands together next time.
Just as the method of "Seven Points of Contact", take both hands of your partner and make the union of hands only. As I have written about the story of coming to orgasm just by holding hand in other dimension, I and my partner have come with hand in this world, many times. Of course, there is no physical phenomena an a ejaculation or orgasmic spasms. But it is deeper than them in certain respect.
It is interesting to note that when we come like this, we don't get whole body sensation from hands but it is limited to the orgasm of the hands.
The sensation is as if there is a sexual organ on our hand. Precisely from the wrist up to the tip of fingers attain an orgasm. Although our breast and genitals feel a lot with this, the orgasm is nevertheless limited to our hands. I don't think you can understand or believe this without actual experiences. It is not the level such as sensing some energy by your hand. It is not that sexual energy was built up through the acupuncture points of the hand. Literally, with our hands holding each other, we shout, and "our hands come".
If you can get the sense of union at head or breast, I think you can do it with your hand.
Please tray this together.
About the perfectly synchronized orgasm,
When we have started to do this orgasm of hands, it was really sensational.
Although just holding hands, there was as much pleasure as normal sex with penetration or more than that, we often kept more than thirty minutes of the union of hands. After that, we did usual sex. When we came simultaneously at her fourth orgasm, very special thing happened.
By the way, we have signals to indicate when she comes. She tells me "It's near." when she fells that orgasm is surly close enough, and she tells me "I'm coming." about five seconds to come.
The special thing started when she started to tell me "I'm coming. Now coming. I'm coming now." and I began my breathing for the simultaneous orgasm.
As our orgasmic spasm came, we realized something unusual.
Our spasm were perfectly in synchronization.
Simultaneous orgasm is normal for us, but the spasm was shaking us at perfectly same interval.
As she swing and shake her whole body with pelvic push at the rate of about once a second, I had the orgasmic spasm from the ejaculation at exactly same moment.
You may had first spasm in total synchronization often.
But in our case, it continued for about one minute and a half.
In other words, all of about thirty orgasmic spasms came exactly together for both of us.
We had no intention to make it happen, yet it happened naturally.
To begin with, since the orgasmic spasm is a reflexive thing, you can't synchronize then even if you try. Although you can make intentional pelvic thrust in synchronization, I don't think it is usual to have thirty spasms at the same tempo.
Moreover, these spasms come at slower rate near its ending. Nevertheless, until the last one, we had then in perfect timing. They were so perfect that I don't think there was a difference of one tenth of second.
When we asked her later, she answered that it was for the first time in her life. As the timing was so perfect, she wondered when they will become apart. But finally, they came always at the same time till the end and she said also the sense of union and satisfaction were more than doubled.
Even if you try to have simultaneous orgasm by telling and adjusting, often there are difference of three seconds or so. And even if the first spasm were simultaneous, usually they come apart later.
So, I thought that it could be very rare occurrence. And when I asked myself what could have triggered it, what had we done different from usual sex, I remembered that we did a lot of the "union of hands".
Since then, we have done this union of hands many time, and we often had "harmonic orgasm" that should be something nearly impossible by a common sense.
As we can come, other than by our genital contact, at our head, breast, belly, and hand, we can come at nearly everywhere. Naturally, the characteristics of the pleasure is different from physical orgasm with penetration. The orgasm of head, breast, belly, and hand, different from the physical orgasm that come finally after gradual increase of arousal, comes as a sudden small explosion of pleasure in the body of both partners without notice.
Truly, sex has many many facets.
The secret of extended orgasms
Usual sexual orgasmic spasm lasts about a minute or so for men and around two minutes for women at most.
You should measure the duration when you masturbate.
Although a man may have some spasms after ejaculation, it does not last so much.
However, there is a way to extend the spasm for three to five minutes, or even for ten minutes in some cases (for both men and women).
Before going on and explaining the method, I would like you to observe the orgasmic spasm by yourself.
I want you to try this in two different ways when you masturbate to observe your orgasm.
One is to concentrate your consciousness at your genital organs during the orgasm, while the other is to concentrate your consciousness at "the top of your head" or at "the center of your brain" (you may choose the one that seems easier for you) during the orgasm.
Between these two, there will be great difference in the duration of the orgasmic spasm.
When you concentrate on your genital organs, the spasm is somewhat simple and lacks in the depth and length.
For men, the spasm ends soon after ejaculation. For women, it ends within two minutes.
However, if you concentrate at the top of the head or the center of the brain as soon as you attain orgasm and keep that way until the after shock, the orgasmic spasm becomes endlessly long.
You should try it when you masturbate.
And when you both can do that with masturbation, you should try it together in actual sex.
Where to place the center of gravity of your consciousness at the moment of orgasm and after will alter the depth and the duration of the orgasm. You may think that the orgasm would be deeper if all your consciousness is concentrated at the genital organs. But the truth is different. It will be deeper and will last nearly forever, not only for women but also for men, if the consciousness is focused at the top of the head or the center of the brain.
If this happens to you, by observing, you will understand that the spasm is not limited to the physical reaction of the genital organs.
The ideal orgasmic spasm happens, not when you concentrate on the lower body, but when the consciousness climbs up to the top of the head using the physical spasmodic reaction as a slingshot.
When you are experiencing a continuous orgasmic spasm by concentrating at the top of your head or the center of your brain, try to bring move your consciousness down your body. The spasm will end abruptly.
To illustrate the point that "the orgasmic spasm is not just a physiological reaction of the genital organs", I will mention an example.
We had a simultaneous orgasm with my penis on the breast of my partner. This is not "ejaculation over the breast" type of usual practice. There aren't many women who would attain orgasm with the contact of the penis on her breast. But I had poured in "Ki" energy from my penis to her breast for more than 20 minutes and then, finally, ejaculated. At the same moment, she came.
And she had orgasmic spasms at somewhere other than at the genital organs (at her breast, in this case).
It was not faking or imagination.
She continued the spasm for more than 15 minutes. If I had not separated my body, she would have continued endlessly. I had spasm of about five minutes.
Also, her spasm wasn't the common "forerunner spasm" but that of a really big full body orgasm.
Moreover, when she got into bed after an hour's ride home, the orgasmic spasms came back a little and she had aftershock waves for a while.
During another occasion, she came while I was putting my forehead on her breast.
Indeed, sex is not limited to the genital organs.
The genital connection is just one of several possibilities.
The connection that does not usually lead us to orgasm, such as penis and the breast or the head and breast, can bring us to one. And from this fact, you can understand that orgasmic spasm is not limited to the genital organs but it depends on the placement of our consciousness.
It is true that the physiological reaction of orgasm is the trigger for the spasm.
But it is the location of your consciousness that determines if the spasm continues or not.
In Orgasmic Fusion of Mumyouan, it has been a secret teaching to place one's consciousness on the top of the head right after the orgasm and to keep it there solidly.
If you have any doubt about this, you should try first by masturbating.
See the difference of the depth and the duration of the orgasm with your consciousness focused on your genital organs and with your consciousness placed on top of your head ( or on the center of your brain).
And one way to facilitate this is "Death Zen" meditation.
Basic practice of Death Zen
To begin with, I will write about its physical effects.
Although some of them may sound like the copy from an advertisement of a beauty salon, they are all actual effects reported by many people who practiced Death Zen.
The reduction of the attachment mechanism and deeper relaxation are effects that occur after a half to one year of practice.
However, it should be noted that no effects will be produced if the person is consuming alcohol or drugs more than once a week (including tranquilizers, sleeping pills, and all other drugs).
1. As the excessive desire for eating will not arise, it is the most natural form of diet.
2. Because of the deep mental relaxation, the internal organs function more in harmony if there is any sickness of the stomach, intestine, or other organs arising from stress. Diarrhea and constipation will subside, as well. As for other sicknesses, reduction of symptoms have been observed.
3. The hair become soft.
4. The skin becomes very smooth.
5. Wounds and ulcers heal twice as quickly.
6. The body odor becomes softer.
7. Deeper sleep is attained and/or there are less sleeping disorders.
8. As there is a ecstatic feeling or natural high, it helps to drop the dependency on alcohol or drugs.
9. For women, orgasm deepens while for men, the endurance will be greater because of mental relaxation.
10. Sexual energy increases while sexual desire decreases.
The outline of the program
Sesshin (Intense period of meditation) No. 1:
Eight days with a tea bowl on top of the head
For the first eight days, there is only one thing to do. It is to spend your days keeping a tea bowl on top of your head. Of course, if you work, you will do it before and after work. You spend all your time with the tea bowl except when it is impossible to do things such as sleeping, going to the bathroom, and so on. In other words, you eat with the tea bowl on top of you head, too. You should never take it away, even if it becomes bothersome. You should keep it during phone calls, conversations, and while reading.
So, if there is a day off from work during the eight day period, you will keep the tea bowl for the most of the day.
When you get tired, you may sleep or lay down. However, you should keep the tea bowl while sitting and also while walking (as long as your head is in an upright position).
By this practice, you will never be able to make any careless moves or have any excessive emotional reactions. Also, needless conversation and reckless words will be reduced.
During this period, even though you should not intentionally focus your consciousness on top of the head, there is no problem if it happen on its own, naturally. Also, if the concentration of the consciousness on top of the head naturally becomes stronger, just leave it as it happens.
You can practice meditations and zazen if you keep the tea bowl, as it is not prohibited. However, it should be of a simple relaxing type. Any artificial breathing methods and imaging should be avoided.
The only rule you should respect for eight days is to keep the tea bowl on top of your head unless it is impossible for you to do something with it. If you work, you will keep the tea bowl for four to five hours per day. This requires a lot of patience. Nevertheless, this is absolutely necessary and you should never proceed to the next step without this Sesshin (intense practice) period.
(The biggest thing to be noticed during this Sesshin is that sleep will be 50% longer than usual.)
The specification of the tea bowl
The tea bowl should have a ring at the bottom with the diameter of 3.5 to 7 cm (1.4 to 2.8 inches). It should weight about 250g to 350g.
Do not use a tea bowl that is too flat or extremely unstable.
Ideally, it should be shaped like a half sphere (like a salad bowl).
* Translator's note:
A tea bowl (used for the tea ceremony or the way of tea in Japan) with the above specifications is rather hard to find.
Moreover, it is difficult to find a tea bowl the with appropriate height of the bottom rim and its thickness, even in Japan. (We went to many many pottery shops in vain.)
Therefore, we have created tea bowls specially designed for Death Zen meditation.
They are handmade by an artist inthe Nagano region in small batches and each tea bowl is unique.
I have 4 of them that I can sell at this moment.
The price is $40 US or $50 Canadian each, shipping included.
For other countries, I will quoteon a case by case basis depending on the shipping cost.
I will ask the pottery artist to make some more if there is a demand.
Please send me an E-mail if you would like to know more. cloma AT mumyouan.com
Where to place the tea bowl on your head
"Top of the head" for Death Zen meditation is defined as the crossing of the extension of ear line and center of the head. Place the tea bowl and if you can sit upright with your head straight, it's OK.
It is crucial to place the tea bowl on the right spot.
If it is possible, keep the tea bowl on all the time except when going out. If you would like to practice seriously, take a few days off from work.
Other than doing things that will drop the tea bowl, such as washing your face, keep it all the time including while eating, reading, making phone calls, walking, and so on.
You may hold the tea bowl by a hand momentary when it is necessary to do something.
Basically, you may take away the tea bowl only when you are in a lying position.
Keep your eyes open if you have a lot of trival thoughts.
You can close your eyes if you don't have too many thoughts.
Be careful after taking a shower. Freshly washed hair is very slippery.
Also it is common to drop and break the tea bowl when you are getting used to keeping it.
The aim of the tea bowl is not to train yourself as a acrobatic entertainer, but to feel the sensation of it so that you will automatically maintain continuous focus on the top of the head.
Please note that the definition of "Consciousness on the top" is not about feeling "the sensation of pressure" on the skin around top of the head, but an actual sliding up of the center of consciousness to the top of your head. This term is used in this sense throughout this manual.
Possible reactions from Sesshin No.1
Severe headache and migraine. --> Sleeping is the only remedy.
Increase of wasteful thoughts or mental fantasies. --> Keep your eyes open to reduce them.
Impossible to stop looping endless thought. --> Keep the consciousness on the top.
Uneasiness and/or worrisome sensation occur in the breast. --> Sleep or keep the consciousness on the top.
Increase of sexual desire. --> Keep the consciousness on the top or release it by masturbation or sex. However, sit at least 5 minutes with the tea bowl within 3 minutes of the sexual release.
Alternating days of calmness and anxiety. --> Keep the consciousness on the top.
* These phenomena happen out of compressed energy from the fast ascending consciousness, that is being stopped by the tea bowl.
Irritation or repulsion for the following things may develop not only during this Sesshin but also during the following practice:
Fatigue or apathy toward work that involves machines, for example, fax, computer, etc.
(There is no problem using things you are familiar with. It is when you work with new machines requiring memorization. As a result, the consciousness on the top may go down or unpleasant feeling may arise.)
Pronounced fatigue or repulsion for any work that involves thought activities such as using a computer.
Also, repulsion for electronic machines themselves rather than the work using them.
In rare cases, electronic appliances may stop working when you touch them, at some point of practice.
Repulsion for information in general that is coming from the TV, radio, PC, Internet, books, and so on.
Frequent cases of prolonged repulsion for loud noise, especially the human voice (chatting itself, the contents of conversation, or human emotion itself).
* For a short time, you may sleep for hours and hours. Or the sleep may become less regular and you may wake up at night more often.
* Without any intention, your motion may become slower or stop altogether. (This is not dangerous.)
* Temporary feelings of weakness or mild lightheadedness become common place.
* During sleep, you may dream of the loss of five senses and the dissipation of yourself, or of your death, or of melting away.
Basic practice for 2 months or more
Death Zen meditation (Basic practice)
About the sitting position and mudra (hand placement)
You can sit in any style, as long as you sit cross-legged on the floor or other relatively firm surface. (*translator's note: it means that you don't have to sit in strict full lotus position. Sitting on a chair of sofa is not recommended at all. You may use Zafu or a small cushion under the buttock.). It is not important at all. Although it is better to keep the same sitting style, it is not essential and thus not important. If you can put a tea bowl on top of your head, it is all right.
For the hand placement, men put the right hand on the left one, in general. And it is not like the usual Zazen style, but put your left palm on the back of the right hand as if covering it. You had better keep the same hand placement for meditating. For women, cover the left had with the right one, contrary to men. According to one theory, it is better to put the left hand then the right one above for intellectual people with relatively greater wasteful thought activity, and the right below and left hand above for intuitive people with less thought activity. However, you had better choose which hand to place below based on the calmness you can feel with the choice on that particular day.
Step 1/ Meditation with slow eye sweeping
Put the tea bowl on top of your head.
Sweep your eyeballs from left to right and back at a very slow rate.
In this case, without focusing on any object, being conscious of the eyeballs themselves, just keep your eyeballs slowly sweeping left and right. It should not take more than 20 seconds to go back and force once.
Make 5 return trips in about two minutes.
Step 2/ Meditation of slow blinking
Next, looking straight ahead or a little downward, just blink slowly. Take 3 seconds to close your eyes, keep them closed for 3 seconds, take 3 seconds to open them again, and keep them open for 3 seconds.
The duration could be varied and it may be two seconds each or not necessary fixed.
Already at this stage, the consciousness would be calmed down and breathing would be light without consciously controlling it. This method does not control the breath, rather it utilize optic nerves to induce calm breath. Do it for about 3 minutes.
Step 3/ Meditation of the dark void
1/Take away the tea bowl from your head. Keep your eyes open. You may keep them only slightly open. Your gaze should be as if you are absorbed in deep thought, not looking at the outside even though the eyes are open.
Imagine totally dark universe of infinite empty space without a thing in it, all around you. However, it is normal to be distracted by sounds and other things. So, do not try too hard to imagine the darkness, rather accustom yourself calmly, gradually with the image of a dark void, of nothingness. Do not create any image of light or shape. Imagine a pitch dark space as much as possible. Do it for about 30 seconds and proceed to the next image when it is stabilized.
2/ Next, direct the same imagery of the dark void toward inside your body. First, make inside the brain totally black. Imagine that there is nothing under the surface of your skin, no brain, no eyes, only dark empty space inside your head. It is important to imagine the darkness inside the head so that no thought will arise later.
Then, imagine that there is nothing under your skin but totally dark black space and emptiness for the body, arms, and legs up to tips of the fingers and toes. About 30 seconds.
3/ Next and the most importantly, while disregarding the inside or outside, just melt into the vision of pitch black darkness. It can be said that this is the simulation of breaking away of all your bodys in the different dimensions of existence. The key is not in imaging the darkness outside yourself, but erasing all your existance by melting down your consciousness into the calm still air of an absolute void of darkness.
Do this for about 30 seconds.
Repeat the rotation of these three kinds of darkness for 30 seconds each and five rotations. This should last about 7 and a half minutes.
4/ Now, imagine these three steps which you have been doing with your eyes open namely, the darkness of the outside, the darkness of the inside, and total darkness, in the exactly same way but with your eyes closed. This will produce far deeper darkness. However, never skip the first portion with the open eyes. Repeat this rotation of three kinds of darkness also five times. It will take about seven and a half minutes.
Step 4/ Concentration on the top of the head
1/Keep your eyes closed. Put the tea bowl on your head. Calmly bring your consciousness to the top of the head (Sahasrara chakra) within 2 to 3 centimeter (about 1 inch) in diameter without forcing it.
2/ Next, do the following with your eyes still closed. Breathe in and out naturally, thinking as if you are breathing in and out of the top of the head.
Usually, your attention will go to the nostrils when you keep your consciousness on the breathing.
However, visualize as if you are breathing in and out of the top of the head.
Breathe in for 3 seconds from the top of the head, hold for 3 seconds on the top of the head, breathe out for 3 seconds from the top of the head, stay for 3 seconds on the top of the head. "3 seconds" is the approximate value.
However, when you breathe in, do not bring the "Ki" energy into your brain but keep it around the surface of the skin on the top of the head.
Thus, always sustain your consciousness on the top of the head while breathing in, holding for a while, breathing out, and holding again.
Step 5/ Ecstatic stage
Finally, open your eyes and put away the tea bowl from your head onto the floor. Just continue to sit in a relaxed manner.
However, casually keep the consciousness on the top of the head following the remaining sensation of the tea bowl.
While you are sitting like this (in Zazen), if you have a sensation similar to a kind of ecstatic feeling in which it is hard to keep your eyes open and it feels as if you are a little drunk, just close your eyes.
Otherwise, keep your eyes open during this step 5. If your eyes naturally close with the ecstatic feeling, let them stay closed.
In this case, you will exist without any thought.
If you start to indulge in wasteful trival thoughts after your eyes are closed, open them again. By opening your eyes, attachment to the wasteful thought will bother you less.
There is no time limit in this stage. You can stop when you get tired or when you can bear no more.
This stage of just sitting has to be a minimum of 10 minutes.
Additional notes on the practice
The direction to sit
It is best to sit facing North. Then next alternative is to sit towards the West.
Meditation of the dark void by placing the consciousness at a little forward from the top of the head
If you have a hard time switching to the meditation of the dark void, slide the focus of the consciousness a little forward from the top of the head to the Frontal Area.
When the consciousness remains focused on the top of the head too much, often it is hard to do meditation of the dark void because you can't create much image in the no-mind state resulting from your consciousness on the top of the head.
In this case, move the focal point of the consciousness to the Frontal Area.
It is midway between the hair line and the top of the head.
It is an area of about 5 centimeters ( 2 inches) in diameter.
About meditation of the dark void
Often, people misunderstand about the meditation of the dark void. There are people who insist too much on completing the three steps of darkness thinking that they should never give up at any cost. But the purpose of the meditation of dark void is to let yourself (mind and body) drop off by "totally calming into the calmness." It is not about insisting to create the image of the darkness.
To do dark void, move the focal point of the consciousness a little forward to the Frontal Area from the top of the head if it is difficult to create the image of darkness.
While continuing the rotation of "three darknesses" with your eyes closed, the following situation may happen during the darkness of the inside and total darkness:
You may start to loose your grip on the image of the darkness and not be aware of what is going on.
The thought get slower and slower.
It becomes hard to rotate the image of the darknesses (outside, inside, and all over) and it seems sticky,
or you can't imagine the darkness anymore.
Although it depends on the day, the above situation may happen within 2 to 3 rotations of the three darknesses while the depth of the darkness may not happen till the end. (* Within the Basic practice, it may not happen this way. This is mainly for advanced practice.)
Now, if such calmness or a sensation similar to a sort of sleepiness comes, let go of all and everything at that moment.
It is rather better if you think that you are going take a nap.
Then, the consciousness will be in something like a dark mist, yet you are not making any image of the darkness. The functioning of the mind will stop gradually but totally in the calmness.
In some cases, you may gradually drop off while wandering in between thoughts and dreams that come and go in the dizziness.
Often it will end with the yo-yo state of half dream and half calmness. It is not necessary always that you melt into a calmness similar to fainting.
However, if you totally move into the nap-like or faint-like state, the consciousness will be in complete emptiness. It is as if you are sleeping without any dream but with full consciousness.
After in a while, the consciousness will be pulled back to the body by a outside noise or a small drop of the head or body. Nevertheless, the coming back of the consciousness is not a complete one.
Then, you will be in a state where you are not totally awake; you have a little bit of consciousness, but you are not at all sure about the room you are in, where you are, which direction you are facing, or if you are sitting or floating. Of course, there is no fear at all. Truly, the memory of where you are now does not come up. Emotionally, it is really calm. It is not a big deal if you experience it and get accustomed to it. When you get used to it, you may drop off easily 3 to 4 times out of 10 meditations.
The knack for dropping off is not to move the body during the meditation.
The room does not have to be totally dark
This is the same for all meditations, including the meditation of the dark void, that the room does not have to be totally dark. However, if you can't imagine darkness at all, it may help a little bit to stay in the pitch dark room for the experience of the senses. Nevertheless, there are people who meditate with a small light on and even who meditate during the daytime in a noisy city environment.
As Osho has said about meditating on the darkness, there is always darkness as the essence (the mothering background) of the universe, even during the daytime.
You don't have to create something like a photographer's darkroom. You can do this meditation of the dark void in a normal room with the lights off.
The true lightless room is good for refreshing the memory of the darkness, time to time.
To imagine the darkness, each individual may have a preference.
One way to do the darkness of the outside is:
Imagine that you are floating in a space, which is pitch dark void.
Then imagine and make six directions of the space into the darkness, one by one.
There is darkness to an infinite distance above the self.
There is darkness to an infinite distance below the self.
There is darkness to an infinite distance to the right of the self.
There is darkness to an infinite distance to the left of the self.
There is darkness to an infinite distance to the back of the self.
There is darkness to an infinite distance to the front of the self.
Then, start next the darkness of the inside from the head.
Proceed to your arms and hands, body, then legs and feet.
It is important to take your time to carefully fill with the darkness, outside and inside.
As for the darkness of the inside, it is as if you become a hollow doll.
Now, it is rather hard to explain the feeling of total darkness.
"Outside" has a directional nature, while there is the location of self for "inside".
But for the total darkness, it is the darkness without a certain direction or location.
It is hard to say it in words. It can be a darkness as if your eyes are covered by black velvet cloth, ringht in front of them.
My favorite is to do the darkness of the outside and the inside, then to let the darkness melt into darknessby corrupting the bordering surface of self.