Do we have to come together and faint in every our orgasm?
There are people saying something else.
What is the truth about it?
@ Response (Houzan) @
Well, I would like to ask you in return.
Don't you desire to come with someone you love?
Don't you want to be held in the arms of your lover and faint away without any thought?
If you are not interested in these, I don't see any problem.
So, it isn't the question of which is right or what is the real orgasm, but the question is if "you want to taste these kind of orgasm" or not.
What I have written is for someone who feels not totally satisfied with sex right now to deepen the orgasm. If you are satisfied with your sex, you have no need to learn anything from me.
But, if you have a least bit of frustration about sex, I think it is natural to seek a solution for it.
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By the way, I have tested all the methods of east and west I could get to know.
It took about thirteen years to repeat trials and errors and then learning with Master EO to arrive at this present formula.
When you read "Total Tantra Manual" or "Mysticism of SEX", since it seems "so simple" and not specially difficult, without any useless talks, you would not think that so many years are behind them.
The true reason for sending these sexual teaching to the world is its "reliability".
Up to now, there are 7 couples of varying age, as far as I know by myself, who have practiced "Total Tantra Manual" or "Mysticism of Sex". All of them had new experiences when they are done according to what had been written.
Among them, four women have experienced fainting orgasm, which they have never tasted before.
What they have told me in the first place was, "That manual is really right".
Well, as in every other teaching, you need to practice all the aspects of what is written sincerely and faithfully, instead of doing only what seems to be easy for you changing here and there as it pleases. Also, it will take several months.
These couples who came into contact with me had read the text with a line marker in their hand, learning the steps one by one without skipping anything.
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There are many books about sexual teaching in the west and east.
But only few of them have information to produce practical "actual result", and most of them contain too much of miscellaneous techniques, ritual descriptions, needless religious dogmas or fancy explanations, without the explanation for the reason behind them.
I thought that if we couldn't be totally satisfied with sex, they were useless, even how much we learned these things.
Although I have also experimented quiet sex, meditation sex, therapeutic massage, and all others, even how great were they as meditation and orgasmic, there always remained a frustration.
Honest desires such as, "There is something not quit right.", "It should be more..." remains.
And the biggest reason behind it is, in a human being, either a man or a woman, there is always a desire to experience, even only once, "maddening passion", "crazy sex", "death of self", "disappearance of oneself", "mental incoherence".
It is quite natural and normal for a human being to desire "maddening something", "death threatening something", or "so much something that you can be ready to die", at least once in one's lifetime.
Many women cry "break me more" during sex as the manifestation of similar desire, and all these are very normal desire for a human being.
However, sadly enough, almost all method of east and west I learned and experimented did not offer the "pleasure that is so great as to suggest one's own death", which women wants.
Nevertheless, there were many useful tips in them, and I have incorporated them in our method.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Although the growth of the consciousness as a human does not end with sexual pleasure.
If you can't experience even that sexual pleasure, the desire for the "maddening, fainting sex" remains in the corner of your mind. The interest and desire will be always there even if you try not to see, not to hear.
Therefore, not just once but at least ten times, please experience perfect simultaneous orgasm and the sense of union it offers, and then you may choose the direction of your personal growth.
You don't have to do these techniques if you are not interested.
If your definition of orgasm is different from ours, you can just continue to sex according to your ideal of the orgasm.
However, it is the fact that there is a way to realize "fainting, sleep like state with sex", or "perfect synchronization of partner's orgasms", and I have spent thirteen years of experimentation and practices for it.
It took so many hours to eliminate "something else" to condense the method till the present formula.
When we made love, I always put up a note on the wall to remind me of the task of the day, about 7 of them.
After the session, I discussed with my partner if we have done our theme of the day and experiments went well or not, what is the problem if any, what was the actual result, refining the method each time.
Also, even if a technique seemed to work fine with a partner, I checked if it always works or not regardless of the partner, seasons, time of the day, climate, physical condition, and so on, again and again.
For the body positions, many books list, without much thought, many variations.
In our list, they are accompanied with the movement patterns.
And these positions are strictly chosen from many more, eliminating others.
Although it does not have any acrobatic body position, for the orgasm, these are the best position suited for most people.
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"Orgasm" is a "bridge between satisfaction and stillness".
At the end, I would like to answer the basic question of "what is orgasm?".
It is the matter of if there is so much "satisfaction" than you can die or not.
The strict definition of orgasm in its mental aspect is a "satisfaction", or "being fulfilled". It means that there is any more lack of something or frustration.
As a result, "perfect silence of the mind", "no mind", or "stillness" happens to the person.
Because a satisfaction ends the activity of desires.
Activities form desires arise out of your frustration.
So, when one is satisfied, "motionlessness" and "silence" come.
We have searched the way of "exploding the self" for both partners to arrive at "the silence as if in the depth of dark abyss".
Therefore, as far as I am concerned, the real purpose of sex is to be totally satisfied by sharing the silence of no mind with the partner.
Of course, the ordinary definition of orgasm is something like "union", "totalizing", "origin", etymologically speaking, and it is not limited to sex.
However, these kind of orgasm would step into the dimension of ecstasy, or such thing as enlightenment, Kensho, and Total Satori in Zen terminology. Thus, to put apart from them, I call "real satisfaction in sex" as orgasm, here.
Question ... from Mrs. L
In your manual, the explanations are mostly on the practice for men.
What we, women, should do to deepen orgasm?
@ Reply from Houzan Suzuki @
I thought that this kind of question should come up.
Because in our manual, more than 90 % of tasks are for men.
But even so, it is a big mistake for women to put all the responsibility of the problem in their orgasm on men's shoulder, or to lie down totally passively to let everything done by men.
It was some years ago. A woman said "My boy friend has a problem of erection. And moreover, he ejaculates prematurely within one minutes of penetration".
In these cases, as she is a partner of sexual endeavor, she should have studied books for the treatment and made efforts to solve the problem, with him.
Even then, there were professional people and books available.
However, what do you think she told him?
She said "Get your problem fixed somewhere. Go and fix your problem. If you can't do it, we are over."
What a terrible story, isn't it?
On the other hand, she was always saying "Love is all" sort of thing, demanding kindness from others, forcefully.
She was really foolish.
Partners should be true friends and collaborators before to be man and woman.
Yet she treated her boyfriend as if "a sexually useless person".
And she never really helped him for treating premature ejaculation.
Do you think that such a person qualifies to talk about "feminine kindness and love"?
Although sex counseling was not well known at that time, there were many traditional methods.
And they were written in many books.
For example, she could give massage to his penis till right before ejaculation, then cool it down with ice from the grand to the root of penis. And such valid methods existed for long long time.
She could have helped him to solve the problem using these methods.
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Therefore, please do not think that this manual is only for men or women, but read it together, both of your. When there is an exercise for men, you (women) should always actively participate in it.
In the end, it is you who benefit from that.
And one of the biggest role for women is to tell everything about sex to your partner.
Men can learn only through women who happened to be their partner.
Even how many books he has read, or how well he has studied this manual, there is no meaning if it was not learned and does not function, on the spot.
As I have repeated often, the preference for body positions and sexual stipulations varies form one woman to another depending on how she is physical built and her physical nature.
So, please request to your man, even to the tiniest detail, what you like about sexual sensation so that he can learn them.
And if there is anything you are not satisfied, you should tell it.
Of course, he should tell her if there is anything he is not satisfied about sexuality, and she should listen well to them.
However, it is not good to tell without care, ridiculing, or as if an order, like the sad woman I have mentioned. "Couple's own sex style" must be created "by both of you in collaboration".
In this regard, what women should do is, long before sex, to grow the mental capacity of acceptance and support that would let your man talk anything to you.
There are many egoistic women who demand support and kindness from men (but not form themselves). This kind of attitude does not contribute for "realizing orgasm together".
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I will summarize what women should do here, briefly.
1. First, read all the articles on this web site together, both of you, without fail.
2. She should playfully try with the partner all the erogenous zone and sexual stimulation. And by masturbating with your hand over his, let him learn very well the kind of stimulation that will bring you to orgasm. Needless to say, enjoy orgasm during this learning process.
3. Let him learn how to give cunnilingus to you, telling him exactly and clearly what kind of stimulation you like.
4. With riding position (woman on top, sitting on him) or woman on top, try woman's orgasm at first. In doing so, you should tell him clearly following points.
* What is the kind of body position you feel good?
* Which is the penetration angle you feel good?
* Which is the penetration depth you feel good?
* What is the kind of moving rhythm you feel good?
* What is the kind of caress and kiss you like?
It's bad to push him to practice without telling these things at all.
5. At last, with frontal lying position or the position of your choice, please let your man lead you.
When you do this, never pretend that it's good or shy away from telling the truth, tell him exactly the pattern in which you feel the best deepest sensation.
Tell him "It does not work" if you don't feel good, and say "It's good" when it really is.
However be aware, in some cases, women can't reach orgasm because they are not good at moving themselves.
Important points are written elsewhere in "Total Tantra Manual" and "Report from reader". Please read them and master the breathing linked with tightening of PC-muscle and inner thigh to heighten your arousal.
Furthermore, in the advanced practice such as "Mysticism of Sex", she can't stay in the passive role since they require the matching energetic wave length of both man and woman.
6. If your male partner does not have enough basic endurance to practice the above, do not let him train by himself.
Women should participate in the training for better endurance for men.
But there is not much thing for her to do in this case. Just let him practice offering your body.
Don't get mad with your man when things does not go well as I explained after only two or three sessions of practice.
If you have such an energy and time, please help him to practice.
Since it is no other than "You" who receive the benefit of his advance in "The Way of Sexual Union".
1998 3/4 Houzan Suzuki
Sex is a conversation of the body and spirit
Sex is, in short, the "conversation of man and woman with their body". Sex is "a dance of sexual energy", "communication of spirits", and "healthy playful act" to give pleasure to each other.
And children should come from these happiness of couple, not from the sexual act of "obligation", or "desire for the domination over other".
As a matter of fact, in old days, it seems that husband's desire for the control over his wife was one of the reason for common big family.
Though the lack of contraceptive method was another reason, more than that, there was a time when the purpose of successive pregnancy year after year was to tie his wife to the household.
Well, in sexual act, the characteristics of the person appears extremely well.
If one is care taking and kind, it will be so during sex.
A violent man and egoistic woman will behave accordingly during sex.
Sexual behavior shows true nature of the person really remarkably.
Since it is to feel each other with entire body and spirit, climbing together, the expression of body and emanating aura cannot tell a lie.
Needless to say, sex does not show everything of the person. However, in a certain aspect, sex will bring the human nature of the person to clearly visible surface.