■本来のあなたは「誰でもない者」である "You are nobody "
by：Houzan Suzuki 2009/04/23(Thu)17:57:13
___ You are nobody ___
Who am I really? ... I am nobody, being nobody.
What am I really? ... I am no one, being no one.
My parents and society tell me such things like, "Act like a human being."
However, this is only a lie.
There is no necessity for me to act like a human being.
The religions and the spiritual industry suggest to me. "You really can become super human." "You actually came from the higher dimensions." "You are truly Atman." "You are surely a reincarnating soul." "You are totally Buddha as you are born." ... and such.
However, those are all lies.
I am nobody, and also I am no one.
Therefore I don't need to become somebody, nor become someone. I am nobody, and am no one.
I am neither man nor woman, so I don't have to behave like male or female.
I am not a human being, so I don't need to behave like a human being.
I am not a sacred something, so I don't have to be a sacred soul nor an evolving creature.
I am not the ultimate observer, nor even enlightenment and samadhi, so there is absolutely no need for me to observe, to analyze, to be aware of my movements, to be enlightened, nor to seek samadhi.
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When you are born to this world, it is the beginning of becoming something.
The life you must become something begins. The life you must do something for the sake of something begins.
But I am a being of being nobody, so I don't need to become something, nor have to do something for the sake of something.
Then, what happens to a person if he doesn't do anything at all?
It has been said that in that case, "the person will die."
It has been said that the person will gradually become weak, his brain becoming stupid, and die at the end.
It has been said that people will "lose value of life" if they didn't do anything at all. It has been said that they will "lose the meaning of being born."
But I am nobody from the very start, so I won't ever lose value of life.
This is because, there aren't any values existing in my life, the values that I could lose.
I am no one from the very beginning, so I won't lose the meaning of being born.
This is because, there isn't any meaning existing in my life, the meaning that I could lose.
You human beings tell me. "We are living. We are special creatures. We are becoming something. We must not die."
However, I am now in doubt. Am I really living here now?
If I am to say I am living, what is it, that is being here?
Is it the physical body? The mind? The true nature of something? Is that really true?
And are human beings really that special living creatures? In what means are the saying special, comparing to what?
Am I really becoming something? Perhaps I maybe am unchanged even a bit? Am I supposed not to die? Perhaps, because I may not be alive?
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There are several causes that make me believe that I am alive.
First is the sense of my physical body. The sense of the body makes me separate myself from the outside.
Second is my thought. I have memories, but they are memories all gathered by myself. Therefore, the memories are my belongings, and become the cause for separating myself and others.
People say "I will not be myself, if I lose my memory." However, as a nobody from the start, losing my memory and losing myself, won't bother me at all.
If there was something to bother, that would be my thought of "myself" that would be bothered. Losing memory is a loss of function for a human being, so it may be inconvenient to live.
The life will merely become inconvenient, but that doesn't mean I am dead.
Third is the sense coming not from the physical body. Other than the physical body and thought, I have senses called feelings, or so called inspirations and spiritual senses.
Hence at times I might think myself as "something beyond my physical body and thought."
Because there are such senses, I think myself "being here." However, I know that existence of some sensation does not mean being here.
There are sensations in misperceptions, illusions, and dreams, but that cannot be a proof that I am existing there.
It is not that I am existing here because I have the sense that I am here. I merely "could think" that I am existing here, because I have various sensations.
There is no certain existence. There is no certain myself. There is no certain world nor universe.
You can say that those senses exist because they are based on the physical body and physical matter that bear the sensations.
But it would be no wonder even if the physical body and matter, and everything "that is being perceived" is "a dream."
"My world and my universe" exist inside "overall sum of various senses."
Academics may say "There are senses because they are necessary for living things to survive."
However mineral and machines show us that senses and mental activity are not especially required just to be functional.
Your sensation that you are alive is "not a requirement for you to survive," but only a necessity for you "to believe" that you are living, because feeling of being alive is your mere assumption.
After you have begun believing that you "are living and existing,"
innumerable things comes to birth.
You begin to think that being alive is "an obvious thing." You begin to think that to carry on living is "an obvious thing." You begin to think as if it is "an obviously natural thing" to move around and do something for life.
Then you begin to think that not living is "an unnatural thing."
You begin to think that not trying to live is "an unnatural thing."
You begin to think as if it is "an obviously unnatural thing" simply being still and doing nothing for life.
All those thoughts arise because you "completely believe in" being alive, the actions and excitements for life, and realistic feeling of living, as "obvious supposition."
Moreover you are not just living, but you are thinking that "you are" living.
You are thinking that what is living is "my own body, my own memory, and my own senses." Then you try to keep them alive so they are always "at living state."
That is the reason why you feel unhappy and uneasy, when you lose the feeling of being alive, when you lose the sensation of living, and when something abnormal happens to you, who is the main character of the living drama.
The abnormality always indicates something that "you are not at your normal state." Because you have thought that being alive is "an obvious supposition," you think that dying, and the premonition and sickness that seem to attract death are abnormal things.
Since you always have your usual self, you feel uneasy when something happens that makes you change from your usual self. You have your usual self.
Yet at times you think you want to change, and throw away or change a bit of your usual self, and bit by bit change into different self. After you get used to that changing situation, soon you get used to that adjusting self as "your new usual self."
Then most of the time, protecting your usual self will be your objective.
On the contrary, if there was a self that "likes to change," in that case you think that "the changing self" is your usual self, thus you become uneasy in fear of "a self without a change."
In any case, you fear of becoming something that is not your usual self and is not your normal self, and you fear any change.
Seeing that, it ends up that only the "emotions," rising from "pleasure and unpleasure," are the "basis of judgment."
Simply put, intellectual judgment is purely impossible for human beings, from the beginning to the end.
No matter what you say that a certain judgment is an intellectual judgment, a human being always judges something so that the judgment would give a result that "leads to pleasure."
Human intellect is just a slave to pleasure. The manager making decisions ordering the subordinate called intellect, in not intelligence, but human emotional judgment,always based on human experiences of pleasure and unpleasure.
In fact, not even once had intellect conducted human beings in the history of humanity. This is because from the beginning intellect itself has merely been "a tool of pleasure" achieving the purpose of how to generate pleasures and lessen pain and dissatisfaction from various hungers.
Thus it is simply impossible for pleasure to be subordinate to intellect. It is simply impossible for intellect to be superior to pleasure. That is, intellect never grow under pure intelligence.
Intellect always has "a motive" for its activation. The motive is always for you to lessen pain(= a change too big), and on the other side, to increase pleasure(= a light change.)
Intellect always has a motive and a purpose at all times, and it does not develop purely from intelligence.
Any motives and purposes are rooted in your actions for pleasure through the increase of small changes, and on the other hand your actions to avoid pain coming from big changes.
The root of why you fear big changes, is that big changes seem to imminently approach your death or vanishment.
The root of why you accept small changes, is that you are not a living thing that could keep your body and mind stay still.
Now, if you are to suppose that you are alive, only two things rise that you must do.
The first thing is "to continue moving" no matter how subtle the movement is.
The second thing is "to inhibit moving" so that you won't break apart from moving too much. These are the basics of all the living things in the universe.
This cannot be ended eternally. Living things must never stop moving.
Also, living things must never move too much.
My self and everything are like pets in the cage called the universe.
You must move at least a little, to continue living.
If you don't move a bit, "death" will come to you.
Though if you move too much, there will be a malfunction.
If all that you want is average happiness, humble peace, and pleasure and entertainment derived from moderate changes, you would be well satisfied with the usual life and the usual thought activity as it is now.
But from the time of your birth up to now, if you have felt like: something is not right, something is missing, or if you have had the sort of unsatisfaction like: I have never experienced so called definite peace and calmness, nor satisfaction, or conversely I have never had ecstatic pleasure, you may once again need to be suspended from the school of "humanity" itself.
You need to at least once, break out from the prison so-called the universe and the ENTITY and GOD and the higher dimensions.
Specifically you need to try "breaking off" from all and everything. You need to try throwing yourself out into the "absolute nothingness."
You need to try throwing up your life.
You need to be feeling that nothing matters anymore.
You need to feel truly from the bottom of your heart, without any exception, that nothing matters anymore, being wholly relieved.
Whatever the case, when you are fed up with everything and feel to stop doing anything, when you feel that you want to be free from everything, that you hate your being and yourself, that you are disgusted at "being alive itself," that you want to "take a break" from be-ing itself, you return to "here, now."
Now here, there is no life and death,
now here, there is no you and I.
Now here, there is no pleasure and unpleasure.
Now here, there is no god, no religion, no commonsense decency.
Now here, you don't have to be anything.
Now here, you don't have to do anything.
Now here, you don't have to be something.
Now here, you don't have to be in meditative state nor to be seated in Zen style.
Now here, there is no need for a thought that you are in existence.
Now here, there is no need for a thought that you are in death.
Now here, there is no need for your memory and senses.
Now here, you don't have to struggle to carry on living.
Now here, you don't have to motivate yourself to escape boredom.
In that way, continuing to be in a state requiring absolutely nothing at all ...
NO...you are not creating the state needless of anything, already, absolutely nothing at all is needed, ceasing time and "being together" with nobody who is yourself, that is meditation, is Zen sitting, is samadhi.
From the beginning of human race, what you unawarely have been long yearing for ... That is you who are not a man nor a woman, you who are not a human being,
you who are not life and death,
you who are not a reincarnating soul,
you are not to be born, not to be dead,
you are not to seek anything, not in need to seek out anything,
you are not to be enlightened, nor to wander in ignorance.
You are not existent, nor nonexistent,
you are who keep the silence, who keep smiling.
That is absolute unawareness,
absolutely nonhuman and absolutely unGod,
is the home of being, and is my home of consciousness,